too blessed.

do you ever feel too blessed? like, you don't know what to do? like you don't deserve it all? like you want to pay God back for everything He has done? I don't deserve this. I'm so amazed. I'm so blessed. I'm so grateful, but not grateful enough. I need some way to pay Him back. Why does He continue to bless me and give me everything I need and more? I have done nothing to deserve this. Nothing! But He doesn't stop! Yeah, my parents are divorced. Yeah. That is just about it. I have lived one of the easiest lives! no, we aren't rich! No, I don't have a completely happy family! No, I don't have a ton of friends, a boyfriend, a mansion to myself but I am still one of the most blessed people I know. I complain about the things I go through but when I compare them to the things I've seen other people go through, I should be ashamed. God says to have joy through your trials. I'm just so blessed. And please trust me this has nothing to do with bragging. I'm just so amazed at was God does! I'm in awe of what He has done for me and what He has given me. I have a best friend that is always there for me, I have a family that is encouraging, helpful, dependable and amazing. I have everything I want chalked into one disastrous room. I have 6 animals to always keep me company. I have a dad that loves me. I live in the most safe place I can ask for. Most importantly, I have been given salvation and life in Jesus Christ. The one I can't live with out. The one that give me never ending mercy and grace. The one that just doesn't stop giving me everything! Why?? Why me? I feel like I don't even want this stuff because I just don't deserve it!! I don't.. I don't deserve it and I feel like I can't take it. I am spoiled and rotten to so much stuff. I complain about things that happen when I then realize that I have everything. Everything. Family, friends, love, and a God who is faithful. I have an education, a home, people, and a God. And that is just back bone, I have so much fluff. Why does He bless me? What have I done for Him? Not much! I know that for sure. I just don't get it. I don't know why He cares. Why He loves. Why does He love me?