passionate

God is so unbelieveable. people often say how he has everlasting love, mercy, grace. its so true. i have witnessed it, experienced it so often that it is just crazy. God is so crazy amazing. crazy.. wonderful. he is so abundant in love, mercy. he just forgives every time. it feels like soon enough he would just want to forget about me.. give up all hope on me, but he doesnt. he keeps giving me another chance. he clears the slate and lets us start over. everyone of us, every time. he is so amazing. I just feel like there is nothing of my capabilites to truly thank him, praise him, and give back to him what he has done for me. there is nothing. what can i do? i just want to live my life for him, i want to give him all of me, my heart, my soul, my life, me! but then the devil comes along, and ruins everything. I'm so tired of the sins of this world. its so hard. its so tiring and so repetitive. its so frustrating. its so hard. you know what? i feel so so so sorry for the people without God in their lives. i cant imagine it! i would feel so empty, so lost! which is how they end up trying to fill up that hole with the things of this world. you want to know something else? i cant even look at a picture of One Direction right now because it breaks me, it kills me to think that not just them, but so many people I love and know will not get to go to Heaven. Someone has to reach them with Christ and I want it to be me. I want to change this world, one person at a time. But i dont know where to start. what to do. the life i'm living of doing school and watching disney channel then going back to bed is not the kind of life I should be living; thought I don't know how to change that. but i only have one life to live, and I want to live it full blast for God. I cant let all these people I love go to hell for ever and ever and ever and for all of eternity. I can't. It just puts me into overflowing tears everytime I look at their face. I can't do it! I love them too much. I can't believe that there are already so SOOOO many people in hell right now that have NO escape. They will be in there burning forever. Never ending. non stop. for ever. ever. and EVER .that is nothing to take lightly! That is not something to just whateverever pray about and skip along in your life! That is not how it is supposed to be, not how it is intended. if you think about it, about 3/4ths or more of the people you walk past or see each day, will be spending their eternity in hell. you know, people have often talked about being 'on fire for God' .. and I have always wanted to feel and have that passion.. I believe God literally set me on fire tonight. Its just SO hard to be on fire, yet be stuck at home. I don't have much of a choice but to sit at home and read about radioactive waves in science tomorrow, like every other day. typical. My mom always says I should be studying the Bible, and becoming closer to God so that later, when i am older and have more opportunities, I will be ready! but thats not the point! there are people dying and going to hell, now! this second! I bet you 100 people went to hell just in the time that i wrote this post! that was just a random guess and i have no facts behind that .. all i'm saying, is that it is urgent and not something to not care about. it is crazy. and i want to change, it. i have the chance to help these people. if you didn't really know the story of Christ, you needed to be found, would you have rathered someone just sit at home and watch TV rather than tell you about Christ?